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Sometimes I think the “normal” people are just people you don’t know well enough yet. We talked about relationships with parents, and how many girls have some “daddy issues.” I don’t have dad issues. My parents married at a young age, and have a successful marriage. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard. I spent five years seeing a therapist, so this isn’t strange to me.I wonder if that is part of the reason I am always trying to find the right person and why I feel like such failure when a relationship doesn’t work out. Jessie is currently in therapy, so it’s all good with her too.But really, Jessie and I should share a “JT” logo with him. I’ve been in relationships with guys both rich and poor, and a guys wealth does not interest me. Are we so desperate for companionship that we’ll compromise our happiness? I found the complicated dynamic of these different personalities to be an interesting twist on the usual character development. Tim told me about his last serious relationship with a girl he dated in San Francisco when he worked for Apple. Things were getting serious between them when she had to leave for business for a few months. One part of the play stirred up emotions from something that happened in my past.Anyway, I feel like there was definitely a moment last night when we both said to ourselves, “Damn, are we actually doing this?! We went to our first couples therapy session together. He’s afraid of his commitment issues and doesn’t want to hurt me since he respects me. I learned early on that money does not make me happy. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date. I’ve wondered where the feelings actually come from, so I did some reading about it tonight. The play paints a pretty bleak picture of Americans in “Generation Me.” Maybe slightly ironic in the context of this project . The long distance scared him, and he broke off the relationship when she got back. I was slightly shaken up after the play so I told Tim about it to explain why I was acting strangely.Well, my dears, you've come to the right place. DON' T complain about turning "halfway to 50" when he's "one year til 30". And I've added a couple of my own tips for good measure, since I am the younger woman and all. DON' T point out how "cute" his first grey chest hair is (OOPS).
I went out with a girl last night, as sort of a ‘swan song’ for my single-hood. Life passes by so quickly, and I like having an hour a week to reflect in an attempt to learn and grow from it all. The psychologist brought up many topics we wouldn’t have talked about on our own. After this is met (around ,000 to ,000 per year for a family), an increase in salary does not positively increase a person’s happiness. Tim seems extremely overwhelmed by the idea of having to see me every day for this project. I become extremely invested in people and things that I care about, which can cause me to fall for someone quickly. While sexual desire exists to make sure we pop out babies, the feelings of love exists to promote bonding and pairing between mates to increase the survival rate of the children. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? Tim seemed slightly annoyed that I missed his text messages before the play. And what’s with the new “read on xx” timestamp on the i Phone? I just wanted to stay in and watch the Knicks game. Then I felt like I was doing it wrong, like I should be giving all my attention to her. Good thing I brought some surprise candies to keep us busy.Well, she and I ended up talking about this Forty Days of Dating project the entire time. She asked us straight away if Tim and I were attracted to each other. He almost had a panic attack when I sent him a list of date ideas for the next week! Love is not a matter of the heart, it’s all in our brain. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first. Jocelyn hit us with a TON of questions that I’m not sure either of us were prepared to talk about so quickly with her: 1. It was cute that Tim insisted on being a gentleman and walking me home after the play. How much does it suck to see someone read your text and then they don’t write back? However, Jessie and I have something planned on Sunday, so it was probably best to do a date tonight instead of Saturday night. The things you learn about someone that you think you know. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? Tonight was the first time things felt date-y and I felt okay about it.This is something we’ve never discussed, although we have been flirtatious with each other in the past. Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love. When I have a crazy day at work, I often forget to check my cell phone. Anyway, we went to the Off-Broadway play, Did anything interesting happen? Jessie told me some very personal stuff that’s happened in her life. Apparently she doesn’t check her texts much, which I somehow did not know. The intimate talk and the crisp spring air made our walk home feel a bit romantic. Well I certainly won’t text her if I need to get a hold of her. I think Jessie caught me looking at the Knicks score on my phone during the play. And none of us has actually said that we like each other.Are you dating an older fellow or thinking about dipping your toes into that more mature water? Or, in Jess's (Zooey Deschanel's character, for those of you who aren't fans yet) case, don't ask about his health: "How's your prostate? Our bodies are decaying."DO relish in the fact that guys get better looking with age, but you'll always be the hot, younger girlfriend.